You think instead of feeling
What people do not think about during a sexual act! Often there is nothing to do with sex in their head. And if there is, it’s usually a negative nature: “I can’t”, “Do I do it well”, “What will he think for myself?”, “Oh, I forgot to shave my legs”, “In this pose, my cellulite is very noticeable " etc. All these thoughts clearly do not contribute to excitement and interfere with sex.
Relax and try to concentrate on the physical sensations that arise in your body during sexual intercourse. Pay attention to the soft and warm touch of your man, a feeling of skin contact with the skin, its roughness, warm and cold areas. Focus on the part of the body that the man caresses at the moment. Rejoice warm and growing excitement!
Duration of sexual intercourse
It is not known why we imagine that if the achievement of an orgasm takes five minutes more time, then the partners will be bored. And what is five minutes on a scale of twenty -four hours? Weigh on how little time your sex life takes, which is the sphere of game and freedom, in comparison with other things that you spend time on? An attempt to limit it is not even the best way out.
Another important factor is the neglect of reality. Concentration is necessary at the current moment.
Interruption of what is most exciting and the implementation of something else
If, for example, a man caresses his partner as she likes, stimulating the clitoris, and this excites her very much, then often he is also excited to such an extent that he interrupts affection and introduces a member. Such an action can ruin everything. Hence morality: if you are very excited, then do what you did, then you will definitely achieve an orgasm.
Do not take turns
If both partners do everything at the same time, then confusion arises. It is difficult to simultaneously give and take. The advice is as follows: let someone give one at first, and the other takes it with pleasure, and then vice versa. It is best when two personalities (two consciousnesses) concentrate simultaneously on the same goal. Since you are taking, then focus on yourself and let the giving you also concentrate on you. This will give a strong surge of energy.
You should not deal with the satisfaction of a man at a time when he tries to satisfy you. Relax! You will take care of them later!
Unconducted grievances and other burdening circumstances
Often, the whole thing is no sense at the very beginning, as you are shared by a barrier of unspoken feelings. Even if this is what we have to skip, forget, and this does not concern the second side (partner), it will still be better to share with him. Everything that prevents one of you from being here and now should be prompted first of all, even if these are problems at work or something else. If you cannot relax and not think about the problem now, talk about it. And it is clear that there should be a place for anger, painful feelings or fears.
I was convinced that very often it happens that when you tell you about what bothers you, you begin to feel strong excitement.
You yourself will probably recall the cases of magnificent and high -quality sex after a violent quarrel.
You don't talk about your expectations
Do you hope your clairvoyant man? I imagine that he will somehow guess that he gives you the greatest pleasure? And when nothing comes of it, you can even conclude, then he is a bad lover?
But this is so simple - in the new union to express their expectations. For example, to say: "Most excites me ...". I think that this will not become painful for him. Usually partners love to know about such things.
The more things you discuss, the better your sex life will take shape. Even in stable unions, addictions are changing, and we must quickly share such information. In addition, the process of the story undoubtedly excites.
Lack of agreement
When partners agree on certain things specifically, this greatly facilitates the relationship. Then they do not worry during the proximity. For example, if a woman is worried that bringing her to orgasm takes a lot of time, then it is clear that she will not be able to focus on her feelings. A good decision in this case will be an agreement that each of the partners gives the right to interrupt the act if someone gets tired. In this case, the woman will be calm that while the partner is passionate, she does not need to worry about his fatigue. And if it really retreats (which in reality will not happen often), it can end with the help of masturbation, which they will agree on in advance.
Another agreement is also well triggered that each of the partners will do only what he loves. This avoids disorders about such thoughts as "I wonder if it is bored with him?" Or "I would like to know if she really loves it or is trying only to give me pleasure?"
Lack of clarity about the goals of sexual activity of each partners
If one person believes that he has sex exclusively for pleasure, and the other has the idea that the most important goal for him is here and now not to become pregnant, then disagreements may arise on this basis.
Just as in the case if for one side sex is a way of manifestation of love, and for the other - a way to achieve advantages. It would be wonderful if everyone understood that it was most important in sex for another.
You can do one funny thing: take a piece of paper and write “My goal in sex is ...”, and just start writing everything that comes to mind. Then each of the partners will announce the written or they will simply exchange leaflets. I think you will discover new things for yourself and begin to better understand each other.
And finally ... revise your value system
Every day you choose what to do today, guided by a certain system of values. For sexual relations, a more important priority should be set than business things or work on the next financial report. The pleasure and the heat that you receive from a well-spent time will have a much greater influence on your entire subsequent day than an additional 30-40 minutes of sleep. Yes it's true!
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